Spit.
Red again. A little more this time. I go back to brushing, spend a little extra time around the sensitive spots. If it's not going to get better, maybe I can at least build up some scar tissue and I won't have to see it when I bleed out of my own mouth.
I should really see a dentist.
Isn't this the way we are? Just ignore the problems until we can't anymore, then we give some sort of half-assed effort. Even at that, it's more about justification than real effort. Trying to save face, now that we've see we can't save anything else. If that doesn't work, then we talk about solutions like our words actually mean something.
I miss the days when I could spit into my sink and see nothing but foamy white. Now there's the blood. Not every day, but it's enough. There's always something wrong. And promises about the dentist are about as effective as the scar tissue idea. Which is to say, not at all.
And how is that working out for you? I still need to see about that dentist. But no matter how many times I say that, I'll keep spitting red.
I can't ignore these problems anymore. I called the dentist today. Maybe I'm just trying to save face, you know? Maybe this is just another damage control tactic so that I can feel like I tried while it all falls down around my ears.
Or maybe I've just had enough of watching my own blood wash down the drain.
